Thursday, July 31, 2014

#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS 2.0


Today I'd like to share with you another installment of my ever mounting first world problems:

1. I'm following too many people on Instagram and it takes to much time to catch up on every one's lives so I had to cut some people. I really had to buckle down and decide which celebrities were really important in my life and which ones weren't. Sorry Ellie Goulding and Vanessa Hudgens. There just wasn't enough room for all of us.

2. Earlier this week I may have been attacked by some wasps while allegedly hopping the fence to lay out at the community pool of some million dollar estates. So I guess that's how the rich and famous keep people like me away from their lounge chairs!

3. I'm oooooh so lucky because I get to make use of my winter wardrobe since my office is an ice box. 

4. I've learned that living in a basement you get to deal with spiders, but apparently in the summer they visit more frequently because they like the come inside and enjoy the free A/C. This little guy was found in our bedroom this week and Spencer and I had to have a 5 minute discussion on our plan of attack. I didn't want Mr. Mini-Tarantula getting away and slipping through a crack or something so that I then would have to stay up for three days straight trying to lure him out. 

5. There is never enough time in the day to go to the gym... because of Netflix obvi. 

6. The HBOGo account I use for free, courtesy of my BFF's fiance, is currently not working and I want to tear my hair out hearing all the updates of Game of Thrones, and True Blood. Guess I'll just have to Torrent them like all the rest of the world. 

7. Provo thinks its cool do re-do all their roads at once. Like I literally have to come a different way to work every day. It's a fun little guessing game. You never know what detour you'll end up taking. 

8. There should literally be a line at the bank JUST for people who have complicated issues. Why is it that I choose to go when there are only two tellers and both are helping people for easily 10 minutes? Could my life be any harder??

9. Apparently I don't know what year it is because I went to the DMV for a new license and went to Wells Fargo demanding a new debit card, both of which don't expire until 2015. So ya... both of those trips were a waste. 

10. I'm going to be spending an entire week in a bikini at Lake Tahoe pretty soon and I am soooooo not bikini ready so now I have to starve myself for the next week and run 5 miles a day... and by that I mean In-N-Out and a Modern Family marathon while I wallow in self pity. 

  Like liiiiiiiiiterally my life is so hard. I'm taking a nap and then going to pay $10 to see a formally fat Chris Pratt take his shirt off. Peace! 


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Friday, July 25, 2014

HI I'M ZERO AND I HAD A BIRTHDAY

As most of you probably know it was my birthday yesterday. I've been on this earth for a whole year and it's been fun. Mostly because my humans are sickly obsessed with me and treat me like their child. My grandma says they need to have a baby already but I'm much more fun. Thank you to all of those who wished me a happy birthday. Today I've commandeered the blog to tell you a little more about myself: 

> My nicknames include The Walrus, Stinky Dog, Tube Dog, and "hey-you-doog." I don't think I look like a walrus but everyone says Its because I have a big tube body with no neck.


> I'm the best sleeper! I sleep for about 12 hours every night. 
> I'm pretty needy. I like to whine when no one is paying attention to me.
> I know sit, stay, shake, other shake (other paw), and down. I also know the word treat and walk, and I run to the door when someone says walk so the humans have to be careful with their words. I'm also too smart for my own good and when you pull out a treat I will automatically sit and put my paw up to shake because I know that's what you're going to ask me to do anyway.
> I love car rides with all my heart. Mom says I want to be the hood ornament because I try to see how far I can hang out of the car every time.
> I hate the sound of a plastic bags. They are the scariest! I also hide when mom gets out the lint roller because I shed so much that she uses it to get all the extra hair off me.
> I don't really play fetch. I just chase the ball, and then the rest of the time I just play keep-away and you have to try to get it from me. I'm actually pretty fast for a walrus.
> I am a very load snorer and sometimes mom kicks me in my sleep to get me to stop.
> I really like TV. I even bark at the bad guys sometimes! This picture was from a day that I just sat on the couch for like 10 minutes by myself watching TV and mom walked past and took this because she said it kind of creeped her out:

^ Nothing to see here. Just catching up on "Wilfred."

> I only have one type of speed for playing: Rough! Sometimes it's too much for other dogs so I have to have a timeout. 
> I'm up to 40lb! Mom hopes I wont get much bigger because it's getting hard to pick me up and carry me away when I'm being naughty. 
>I love hands and ears! And by love I mean I love trying to bite and lick them. But I'm nice and I know I can only do that with my close human friends. Don't worry... they are soft play bites. 
>I'm a great watch dog. Don't get that confused with guard dog. I'll let you know when there is a weird noise or someone at the door, but I don't care if they try to rob the place. I'll probably just see if they have treats or will scratch my belly. 

Now here are a few cute pictures of me because you can never have too many: 

 ^ They tell me I get crazy eyes when I have my ball. I don't see it. 
 ^ I love basking in the warmth of the window-well. 
 ^ My new thing is getting up on the kitchen chairs to hunt for food scraps. I must know it's naughty because I only do that when the humans leave the room. The other day I even climbed on the table but then I got in trouble. 
^My humans must get fast food a lot because I know what the drive-thru is and sometimes I get impatient for the food that's waiting for us at the end.  
^ I always can sense when the humans are leaving. Can I fit in your suitcase?  

Here is the link to the doggy cupcakes my mom made me. They were so good! My mom used whipped cream on top instead though, because I really really like that stuff... except when it comes out of the can it kinda scares me. I also absolutely hated that crown. SQUIRREL! 

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Wednesday, July 23, 2014

CAT 1. ZERO 0.


Being a dog owner is full of surprises. Like when you go on a walk and a cat scratches your dogs eyeball. That my friends is a $200 walk. BAM! And yes I cried. I cried when we got home because a) being a dog mom has just made me a big softy and b) I felt responsible. Zero is such a good off-leash walker. And normally we don't let her off leash around high traffic areas, but we always take her off the leash when we get about two houses away from our home. But low and behold there were two cats on the doorstep of the house we were in front of, and she knew... That little naughty girl knew because she has seen that cat there before and wanted to go say hi but we wouldn't let her. One of her big downfalls is coming when we call her. Bulldogs are known to be one of the most stubborn breads. They don't really live for obedience like other dogs. They come when they want to come. So once Zero took off to say hi to the cat, all my shouting of STAY! COME HERE! SIT! did nothing. Of course the cat didn't know all she wanted to do was play, so she defended herself the best way she knew how. Sadly we didn't get one of those skittish running cats, but the kind that fight back. After we managed to grab her we noticed she was bleeding. A few scrapes on her head and nose, and one on her eye. We did luck out... it was only on the whites of her eye so it didn't affect her vision. And as we sat in the waiting room of the Urgent Care next to a lady who was also on a walk (but her dog was attacked by a loose pit bull), I again realized that we were lucky... even though it was an unlucky situation.

Originally the doctor gave us "the cone of shame" to keep her from itching or scratching her eye. It was so sad guys! She kept running into things, she would just sit with her head down and not look up at us, she wouldn't eat, sleep, or go outside to go potty. Around 3 AM I couldn't take it, and I wanted sleep. Her eye hadn't been bothering her before and when I took the cone off to let her eat, she still didn't seem to care about it. Now we are on day three, and although we are watching her vary carefully, we haven't had to put the cone back on her. Another moment of good fortune for The Walrus!

Sadly this did affect our plans for a weekend in Vegas. And we even went and bought her a life vest for grandma's pool! She loves it... but she loves tennis balls even more. Can we get a rain check Vegas!?



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Wednesday, July 16, 2014

STILL MARRIED LONGER THAN KIM KARDASHIAN


Well I meant to write a post on Monday about Spencer and I's anniversary which was Sunday, but ya know... Netflix and stuff really get in the way. Spencer and I decided that we would switch off years planning our anniversary and this year it was my turn. If you know me, you know that when I plan something, I don't like straying from the plan too much. Mostly because I get excited and put a lot of effort into my plans and when they fall through it makes me feel like a failure. Perfectionist problems. So I was already a little frustrated that we got out the door late and didn't get to Lagoon until around 3pm. The kicker was... Spencer's bike helmet is expensive and we road the motorcycle up there and unfortunately all the big lockers at Lagoon were taken. I was a little furious and he bounced ideas off about driving back to Salt Lake or driving to Kaysville and leaving the helmet at my sisters. Both options would set us back about 30min and it was already getting late (oh and did I mention I made dinner reservations at 8pm at Alamexo). I had a stage 5 meltdown. Mostly because I didn't want him to bring his bike in the first place, and now all my carefully thought out plans had been ruined. Here is a prime example of what I was talking about in the anniversary Instagram post on Sunday. It's just one of the many ways Spencer and I are different. When I was tearing up about my ruined plans and blaming him for sleeping in and riding the bike, he said "Who care if our plans are ruined. It's our anniversary. We can do whatever we want." He might as well have just Spartan kicked me, 300 style!


But in Spencer's mind, it really wasn't a big deal. He can just fly by the seat of his pants. Plans be damned!!! All blasphemy to me. Long story short, we found a campground next door that said we could leave our helmets with them. In the end we didn't make it to dinner, and Spencer wanted to leave early to go back to the hotel to go hot tubing, which means I missed out on the Rocket and Samari, but marriage is a compromise. We stayed at the very hip Hotel Monaco downtown, which actually doesn't have a pool or a hot tub but that's why I had already done my research on the Hilton Hotel next door. After swimming at the Hilton, we went and got Zero. Our hotel allows dogs so we couldn't pass up the chance to bring her along. Both Spencer and I love staying in hotels. There is just something so magical about a bed that hundreds of people have already slept in that cost way too much money for just a place to rest your head and watch cheap cable. Although we never made it to Alamexo, we did make a late night Sonic run and I finally got that garlic cheese hot dog that I had mentioned on Facebook had been taunting me in the ads. And guess what guys... it wasn't half bad! Seriously. I ate pretty much all of it.     

The one thing I hate about hotels is that the checkout time is always at an ungodly hour, but because Spencer's mission president was having his homecoming at 11am, we had to wake up even earlier than that! Which I can't complain too much about because they had the most amazing spread, including Texas Roadhouse rolls and I'm pretty sure I ate my weight in bread and cheese. To top off our night we drove back home, took a family nap with the beast, got Sonic drinks to wake us up again then... I can't remember but it probably consisted of walking The Walrus and then TV time on the couch. Hopefully one day we can make it back to Alamexo, but I know this weekend we learned, or re-learned, some valuable things about each other: I live for plans, and Spencer thinks it's no big deal do his own thing. That's just one of those things in marriage you just have to be aware of with your partner and take into consideration when you're together. We have learned a lot these last 2 years, and hopefully will continue to learn and grow more.  

And shocker... all the pictures from this weekend are only of Zero. 

^ Don't worry, she got some too. 
^The car ride back home after spending the day playing in Grandma and Grandpa's garden.
 ^Family naps. Oh I could just squeeeeze that face! 


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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

BUSTIN OUT THE FANCY CAM

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays (next to Halloween and Christmas). The heat, the pool, the fireworks, the hot dogs; it all resonates with me. Plus I get to wear my one American flag shirt (which I conveniently forgot this year). Although I've never been super in to camping, almost every summer since I was little my family went up to Malad, Idaho to stay at my uncles farm house and since it's been a few years since I've been, I've forgotten how much fun it is. I also got to meet my new niece Gracelyn. She is an absolute doll... which is exactly what her 2 year old sister thinks she is; her own personal doll. Here are a few pictures I took, that I'm sure many of you have already seen on Facebook:


(Below) Mormon crickets. They are huge! 

And here we are on the same stoop two years ago for our engagements. Can't believe we will have been married 2 years this Sunday! Such babies we were! 





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Monday, June 30, 2014

ANCHOVIE PIZZA


This weekend was probably one of my least favorites in a long time due to multiple reasons, but the one I'd like to share is the passing of my uncle Kenny. He was one of the funniest guys I knew and could always break up any tension in the room. He was also an amazing cook due to his Italian roots and always made a delicious dinner that he would hold every Christmas, and he'd always make sure to let me know he bought an extra can of olives just for me. 

Last week he got in a car accident. I woman t-boned him on the drivers side. They had to use the jaws of life to get him out but at the time he was still conscious. He even joked with the paramedics that he "could really go for an anchovie pizza and some beers right about now." At the time, is condition was critical, but it looked like he would pull through, even after slipping into a coma. But on Thursday morning, his MRI showed blood pooling in his brain and he suddenly took a turn for the worst. Thursday evening I went with my sister's to say our goodbyes, as the next day they were going to take him off oxygen, and the chances that he would breath on his own were slim. I don't really know hospital lingo, but when he was admitted to the Shock and Trauma ward, he was scaled at a 12. The day we came to see him he was a 6. I was informed you don't come back from a 6. And if you do, you'll never be the same. 

Let me just say that if there is a list of places I don't ever want to visit again, it would be the Shock and Trauma ward. There is so much sadness and pain there. I know many probably come and go after being admitted, but I know there are some, like Kenny, who never left. I couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that there were so many other rooms occupied; so many other grieving families; so many people clinging to life and hoping to come out fighting. It amazes me, the amount of suffering that goes on around us while we go about our day-to-day.

My aunt said at the hospital that they weren't going to sue the woman that hit him because it wasn't worth ruining two lives. I'm sure that's a hard pill to swallow when you're experiencing grief and want someone to blame. Often times the guilt and regret that we beat ourselves up with, is greater than any punishment that someone could think up. 

I've come away with a greater understanding of two things: First, you never know when your time on this earth is up. It seems like you have a life time to get around to something, fulfill a dream, or apologize to so-and-so, but in reality, that's a risk we don't know will pay off. Second, I now have a better understanding of the responsibility I'm taking on when I get inside my car every morning. Driving has become second nature to many of us, and is just another part of the day, but we often times don't stop to realize how many lives have been carelessly take due to negligence.

Kenny... I know you're smiling down on all of us with an anchovie pizza in hand, and I hope you save one for me (sans anchovies of course)!. 



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Wednesday, June 25, 2014

WHATS THE OPPOSITE OF BABY HUNGRY? BABY-INTOLERANT?


The other day Spencer and I were driving in the car and I said something along the lines of "When we have kids..." and then Spencer said, "I can't ever imagine me ever saying 'Lets have a baby.'" This is something we've talked about many times. Neither of us are the kind of people who are baby hungry, or even like a "I'm not hungry but I could eat," type of baby hungry. We've always been like, how will it happen? Will this be the worlds longest game of chicken where we make the other person say it first? I've always just assumed that when my IUD decides it's time to take a long vacation from my uterus in 3 years, I'll just say something awkward like "Well I guess I won't get a new form of birth control?" (imagine my voice getting way hi-pitched at the end). That's how it will happen. No getting excited, no nighttime giggles, no dinner to celebrate, no buying baby clothes before it actually happens. It's not something that either of us are excited for. Not because we don't want kids. We do. Maybe it's the mormon in me, or the fact that I don't want to be 60 years old during Christmas time and not have any excited kids or grandkids around the tree. Plus me and Spencer are too hot NOT to procreate. But with one dog, I do see the appeal to not have kids and just adopt 10 dogs and live on a farm somewhere. And when the day comes that Spencer and I begin to play sexual roulette, I'm not going to be one of those girls that takes a pregnancy test every week or puts on the calendar every time I'm ovulating. And when I find out, I'm not going to be jumping up and down, or wrap the test in a little box and give it to Spencer when we go out to a fancy dinner, or rush and call 50 of my closest friends. I'm just not. I believe there is a distinct difference between being a woman excited about pregnancy, and being a woman who is excited to raise a child; and some people fall into both categories. I'm not someone who cares about being pregnant. Although I am looking forward to raising children of my own one day. I wouldn't even call it excited. It's just something I know I have to do or else I'll feel like a part of me is missing.

There are just those girls out there who are born to be a mother. That's what they live for and they can't wait for the day. I've never fit into that category. It's never a desire I've had. I remember growing up, and a friend of mine expressed that one of her biggest fears was not being able to have kids. I remember her even getting a little teary eyed about it, but in a "laughing because this is so silly to cry about" kind of way. I remember thinking if one of us can't have kids, I hope it's me. Because I honestly don't care and I could tell how much it meant to her. Not that I wouldn't still have kids. But I don't have this driving need for them to be my own flesh and blood. Now I know what some of you mothers are thinking... and let me stop you there........ I HATE hate haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate when girls say any of the following to me:

a) Well that's because you've never been pregnant. Once you find out you are it's so amazing and it changes you and how you feel.

  • Don't put me in a box with you. Not everyone feels the same way. You don't know me like I know me. I literally have no innate sense to have a baby or be a mother. Zero! And I know I'm not the only one that feels that way, so don't tell me that I will feel exactly like you did when you found out that you were pregnant or when you decided to start trying to have a baby. Some people are just not programmed that way. That doesn't mean we aren't going to have kids or be horrible mothers. But it means we probably won't act like we give a crap until we actually see them and hold them. For me, I know that's when it will become real.

b) You'll know when it's time to have kids.

  • For some people there is no right time to have a kid. Spencer and I would probably just not have any if that was the case. Neither of us are going to wake up one day and say "Today's the day! I want to create something inside me that is going to be extremely expensive and unpredictable and we'll be solely responsible for it's life and well being." See... that's how I see a baby. I'm not saying it won't be full of love and happiness, but I'm a realist and that's just how I've always looked at the world. That's not something that you celebrate over dinner to me. But it's great if you do. That's the beauty of it. We are all different.           
c) Or anything along the lines of "What are you waiting for?" "Don't wait too long!" "You don't want to start a family until after 28? Don't worry, you'll change your mind." "You want to be an old mom?" 

  • This is another example of people thinking their way of doing things was the best way and it's for everyone. Here is Spencer and I's view on this: Once you hop on the baby train, you don't hop off... ever! There are still so many things in my life that I want to do and experience that are either impossible, or hindered by children. Now some people think that's selfish. Especially in the mormon community, but I just can't help but bask in the joys of being able to go to the movies whenever I want and not have to find someone to watch my child! Small simple pleasures that will one day be taken from me, that I'm in no hurry to meet. 

Continuing a little on point C, Some people I feel even rush into it so fast they don't get to truly enjoy and get to know their spouse as a husband and nothing else. Trust me, Boyfriend Spencer is very different from Husband Spencer; and I'm sure Husband Spencer will be very different then the Husband-Father Combo Spencer. Another thing that drives me to hit the pause button is the fact that I love the idea of being an older parent (and by this I mean older by mormon standards). I was raised by old parents, as was Spencer. And we both loved it. I feel like you're wise, more relaxed, and more financially stable. I know I've heard it a million times that you don't need to have money to have a baby but here is an example I've seen first hand. A girl I knew growing up had a dad that was going to med school and specializing so it took a while. She was the youngest and by the time he had worked for a few years and established his practice, they finally moved in to a giant house with everything a kid could want.... but all their kids had moved out by then. When Spencer is established in his career, I want to be able to enjoy the spoils with my kids. I want to go on trips that they'll never forget, and have a house that they want to bring their friends to. I know that's not important to everyone, but that's something that Spencer and I got a taste of, that our older siblings didn't and I wouldn't change that for me. 

I know that I'm not the only one in the world who has no desire inside to have children, but at the same time will because they feel like motherhood is a part of something that needs to be in their life regardless. I would compare it to my nighttime face-wash routine, in as much that I know at the end of the day it's something that I have to do, even though I'd rather just crash in bed, but after I do it I feel so refreshed and happy I did. Plus I wont wake up with a face full of zits. ;)

And here is what I may look like years down the road: 



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